Earlier this year I wrote a statement saying I went through or was going through the hardest thing I’ve emotionally faced. I did reach a low that I’ve never reached before, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I needed to take a break from blogging and then I moved, and my dad’s sickness dramatically declined. Taking care of my dad created another dry spell from blogging.
It’s hard to believe it’s nearly October and just three more months are left of 2016.
My dad passed away on August 8th and while it was expected, it took more out of me than I thought it would. Mentally, I knew what was happening and because it was my reality I would speak with others about it in such an even tone. I cried when I needed to and took the time for myself to feel what was happening. But afterwards, my emotions needed to catch up even more. While I wanted to dive back into what would be ‘normal’ life, I had to take the time for myself to rest. I needed to take more time to mourn. I needed more time.
I looked around me and realized that I haven’t fully unpacked. My dad’s decline was right after I had moved and what I absolutely needed was already unpacked. I needed to take the time for myself to clean, organize, and unpack all the things that makes a place more like home. I tackled a DIY project, went to TJ Maxx for a little shopping ‘spree’, rearranged furniture, and went to Michael’s for a few items. Now I feel like I’m in a place that’s more me.
During all this time, I would think about how I miss blogging and how I had all these ideas I wanted to execute for this year. There’s still time and it’s okay that I neglected this space. I continued to brain storm about this space, jot down bits and pieces of things I’d like to say, and took pictures of my projects along the way. I didn’t exercise/get as much movement as I normally do… unfortunately, I gained weight over the summer. I want to share my weight loss and what I’m doing to accomplish that goal. I crochet and have lots of Christmas gifts I’m making. I have quite a bit I want to share!
In addition, I thought about this platform that I have and where blogging has gone since I was a LiveJournal-er 16 years ago –
I’m going to share my life on here and be transparent. It’s not always pretty, so I won’t portray a really pretty/ideal life. Some posts might be snippets instead of loads of content. I plan to talk about my faith more. I’m not going to post about make-up only on Monday. In fact, I don’t really plan on having a schedule for posts (Saturday might be my only consistent day or WIAW). I don’t plan on buying things just to buy them to write about them.
I have no intentions on fitting a blogging mold.
Life is precious, fun, and messy. I can’t make my life fit into a certain mold and my blog can’t be a false representation.