The last 6 months have been quite the transition for me. While going through (still going through) the mourning process, I have been blessed to really see how my brother impacted other lives. I’ve been able to see this and reflect on myself and how others have reached out to me (which was quite overwhelming due to shock and unidentifiable emotions, but appreciated).
One thing I realized is that I need to live life more and not plan AS much. I’m a planner and I can openly admit that. I can’t continue to make all sorts of set times to be with people.. I need to live in that moment.
Speaking of living in the moment: when I was going through the process of applying for my new position and thinking about the obvious changes that would take place in my life, one of my best friends had given me a good talkin’ to. I needed to be present and really breathe in what was happening and stop planning the ‘what ifs’. If I kept up with all my planning, I wouldn’t have gone through the shakes post-job offer for 4ish hours. (I wanted to get another cup of coffee, but after that phone call my arms were all shaking and adding more caffeine to that feeling wouldn’t have been a smart move!). I took that advice beyond the days of my interviews and job offer and it has made some serious alterations with my life.
I thought that I was enjoying moments and experiencing things, but in the back of my mind there were so many thoughts going on that I wasn’t truly present. I was too busy planning what I’ll do next, how much I’ll get done once I get home, what time I should wake up the next day… exhausting stuff.
That’s why I decided I needed to enter my 30th year of life with being fully present. I also decided that each month I will have some sort of activity that celebrates me being 30! I wake up each day thanking God for another day, so why not celebrate each month?!
On the eve of turning 30, I didn’t feel any different or have any crazy thoughts about life, but I did think about how I thought I’d be in a different place then where I am now. I didn’t become sad or upset, instead I am grateful for having the experience’s I’ve had so far. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be who I am right now!
I’m excited to see what my 30th year has for me and all the things that God will do.
Next up on my 30th year: Taylor Swift concert!