You know what? I’m in love with the weekend. Every weekend. Whether I have plans or shower and put my pijames back on, I love the weekend. It’s my two day detox from the work week. This weekend was much needed, I don’t believe I’ve ever had so many work induced meltdowns in one week before.
Unfortunately, these meltdowns happened while driving to the train station. I don’t like melting down and having to drive at the same time. Then, they’d happen on the train. The morning train ride consisted of me trying to hold a straight face turned towards the window. I’d feel stupid for melting down, stupid for feeling like a whiney baby and then, I’d just pray to release this and keep a level headed mind for the day. On the way home, I’d pray to relax and be thankful that I’m going home. Going to a home where I have a bed to sleep in and running water to take a shower and wash the day away.
Fortunately, I have people who care about me. People who don’t know the full extent of what I felt or what I was going through, but they would share encouraging words with me just because they want to see me succeed.
All of those statements mean the world to me.
Where am I going with this?
Well, on Monday the post from SheReadsTruth stated:
“He doesn’t see it as ordinary at all.
Waking up each morning: He wants to join you, even before you open your eyes.
Grabbing your first cup of coffee: He asks to sit with you.
He enjoys that traffic jam on the way to work: it’s extra time with you.
“Those” days. Yes. Those emotional, hormonal, roller coaster days.
Yes. Even those.
Sister, He wants to spend time with you.”
It was one of those wake-up moments for me reading this. I thought, “yes, He wants to BE there on those days. On these crappy days that make me ashamed for having a bad attitude on the inside. Actually, He wants to be invited to rid me of this bad attitude, because it’s not going to get me anywhere…” My inner dialogue had really rambled. It repeated itself throughout the week.
I truly had a battle with inviting Him in. I really had a battle with the deceptions of my emotions.
I got through my week, recognized the unhealthy place I was in and I refuse to revisit such a place again. I cannot allow my emotions to take me to such a place that feels so permanent, yet isn’t. After all, emotions are so temporary. Yes?
Therefore, these bad seasons are too.
Thanks for letting me share/vent.